>>14312095You’ve gotten excited by the “taboo” and now it’s become the “bliss place” you turn to to escape.
You need to talk with other human beings who have been where you are. This is social. This is brain chemistry. There’s a way out. You need to join a sexual addiction group in your area.
Google “sexual addiction” and check out a group in your area. They get together and talk and help one another understand and recover. Do it.
If you don’t want to do that, check out Dr.Drew’s podcast. You may gain some understanding.