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>be american
>wake up by rolling out of bed
>forget to salute the flag on your way out and have to tip the NSA 15%
>step outside and take a gulp of 70% CO2 air through your lungs so congested with the worst American '''''''''''''cuisine'''''''''''''
>walk back inside to tend to your wife's black children just as your boomer parents taught you to
>remind yourself this is all part of God Emperor Trumps 6th Dimensional hungry hungry hippos game and that America will revert to a 1950s-esque paradise any minute now
>your children's estranged father drives by and shoots your house full of bullets
>your mexican neighbours, upon seeing your bloodied and holed body, begin looting your house and livestream themselves dissecting your wife's kids for liveleak
>heaving through your modest 200kg, you're able to reach your cellphone and dial an ambulance
>underpaid paramedics arrive 50 minutes late and begins to tend to your wounds
>forget to pay the the paramedics their modest 70% tip
>they start shooting at you
>die
