Quoted By:
>get to disneyland ride dick already fit to unzip itself, had to pay way too much and go through way too much paperwork just to get here
>here, the POTC Disney ride
>such a scam that you have to pay for all of the other stuff just to get here
>everyone's here, everyone came here for this, ride is packed
>even women and children, I don't get it but whatever
>one of the women is staring, almost GLARING at my bulge owo but she ugly af so I ignore her
>go in Elizabeth's house
>no Elizabeth
>no bodice to rip
>smuggled knife in my boot like Jack for absolutely nothing, first blisters and then actual cuts on my heel and this is my reward, an empty house with a fucking boat
>realize maybe the pirates already took her away for raping and pillaging and I'm supposed to be Will going and saving her
>I can hang with Jack and drink rum at the back of the ride through all that white hat shit I guess
>we head out past some dumb gay french shack or something and, for some reason, directly into the end boss area
>cave full of skeletons and a shipwreck, realize this doesn't follow plot of the movie and I might not see Elizabeth, maybe I can get that slapping ship driver girl or something at least, or maybe they actually have the mermaid girl here, that would be cool
>spend a little time thinking deep thoughts about whether the skeletons were non-charlatan actors really devoted unto death to their roles like true art, or actual pirates they rounded up from Somali and let the first boat of customers actually kill off, or if they were just people who tried to kidnap Mickey and got put here as punishment
>probably last one, /pol/ says jews don't like being stolen from and are cheap
>sail back out and am back at starting town again, cannons firing, too excited to spend much time marveling about Disney perfecting teleportation
>start yelling to take us to shore so we can rape and pillage, people look back and tell me to shut the fuck up and the ugly bitch glares more
>wtf?
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