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If you troll here, you're as good as toast. Enough with the other stuff- let's continue with the bread discussion.
Furthermore, have we encountered any recent hate crimes perpetuated against bread by bagels? How can we respond to the dangers posed by the eternal bagel? Should we even choose a side in the event of a starch-based conflict between bread and bagels? Do bagels, in fact, matter? Or is that what the neocommunists want us to believe?
Furthermore: is bread delicious? If so, how delicious? Who invented bread?