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You cannot get rid of sins by your own power, you have to pray god for his help.
It seems unjust that we are condamned to be corrupted by sins, but Christ took them on himself and saved humanity from it.
You will suffer all your life realizing your sins (if you are truthfull and don't ignore them) but by the help of god and patience you can still ascend and be a better human beeing.
And when christ will return, by his love we can hope he will save us and liberate us of all sins.
And suffering is necessary, because without it we tend to let ourself goes, because of our corruption. It's the old devil's trick to tell you god is unjust and abandon him, but without god there is nothing, you go away from the light into darkness.
Also, don't ask christian spiritual advices on pol, or and online boards. You can pray and read the bible, read some books written by orthodox monks, and mainly join and orthodox church and ask to talk with the priest in private, he will have better answeres to all your questions.
Never forget to not rush things, be humble, always humble. If you look into religion to find a better truth to be above everyone etc you'll be decieved and risk falling to satanistic doctrines.
You are in th eonly battle worth fighting anon, I wish you all the best.
(sorry if this post is not really organised, I'm tiered)