>>559658When I was a kid I cut my forearm, a bit like pic related. I think I was 13 roughly. On the outside of my forearm, cuts from the wrist down to near the elbow.
I was going to cover it up and then I thought fuck it. Went into school the next day with my sleeves rolled up (although I usually rolled my sleeves up).
Yeah it was stupid, and I remember people saying to me it was attention seeking. I remember one kid in particular saying that to me.
But I didn't get bullied or anything, which is surprising, looking back. Some kids were just like "why... why?" and I was like "eh I dunno, who cares"
Halfway through the day (or maybe it was the next day, can't remember) I got quietly pulled out of a class, and they said the nurse wanted to see me. I remember her main question was "is this just a silly one off, or do you think you'll do it again"? And I remember wanting to say "fuck you I'll do it again" - or at least I was reluctant to say "silly one off", but that's what I did say.
Looking back I know why I did it - because my parents weren't talking to each other; because home life was pretty miserable. They just hated each other. Never talked to each other. Depressed. My whole family was just depressed. I guess it was a way of expressing that.
The nurse, and some of the kids, had also asked me why I did it. But I didn't say anything. Although I guess I wasn't consciously thinking "it's because of my home situation", but really it was. Well, a combination of that as well as social isolation I guess (we lived in a pretty remote area). I did have friends, but they all lived far away from me. Which made our family very isolated.
So yeah. Both parents had stopped talking to each other. They also stopped interacting with any of our neighbours. We were just a house of shame. Isolated. Trapped. My dad should have had the balls to just fuck off, but he didn't.
