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>want to move to southern Texas when I'm 60
>try as hard as I can to look like pic related
>exclusively speak in a deep southern drawl and say mostly jibberish
>pretend I've been living there for my whole life, that so has my family and make up legends about places
>when locals question me i just say they're crazy for not remembering Good Ol' Farmer McCain
>sit 20 hours at day on my porch on a rocking chair with a rifle next to me
>when people come to town say "YEEEEPAH YO GOOD OL DANG PARDNER BETTA GO STRAIGHT TO HELL OUTTA BACK WHERE Y'ALL CAME FROM I RECKON NUFFIN GOOD HAPPNS ROUND HERE TO STRANGER FOLKS LIKE YOU GOD DAMN BE SURE YOU LEAVE RIGHT NOW YEEEEEAH"
