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35 year olds
This age gets a special mention. Why? Because 35 is the year of formal female expiration. (Informal expiration can occur many years later, depending on the woman’s genetic good luck.) At 35, most women are over the hill. An unmarried woman at 35 is officially in crisis mode. Full meltdown will happen within the year if she isn’t hitched in that time. You do not want to be in the vicinity of a woman in full meltdown mode. Full meltdown is accompanied by the acquisition of a second cat, alcoholism, cackling brunches of mimosas with equally pathetic Samantha wannabes, sloppy drunken one night stands with college age men which they will then rationalize as evidence of their enduring beauty, and a laundry list of annoying personality tics and neuroses that would comfortably provide for the retirement plans of ten psychotherapists.
