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Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I hooked up with that Tomb Robber chick? Let me just skip the dinner talk and get to the good parts... She has this mansion, right, and these cute maids running around, and I'm thinkin', "alright, the Duke train is pulling into the Tuna Town station tonight". But it's all very uppercrust and proper, so I'm like, "how am I gonna break this chick down", ya know? It's gonna take every ounce of the famous Duke charm.
Skip ahead, skip ahead... things finally start getting hot and sweaty. So she's like, "why don't I show you to my recreation room"? I dunno, sure, maybe that's where the bar is. So she leads me downstairs and unlocks this door. What do I see but this huge, wood-panelled chamber with every kind of crazy sex shop surplus item you can imagine. She's got sex toys, sex machines, a sex trapeze if you can believe it. There are whips, chains, you fuckin' name it. I'm tellin' you, you crack that uppercrust veneer, underneath is a lady who reeeally knows how to party.
Alright, kiddies, looks like I'm gonna have to save the rest of this tail for the sequel -- Duke Nukem and the Chamber of Secrets. It's a little too steamy for Steam, if you catch my drift. But I'll drop you a spoiler: if you can imagine it, it probably happened, heheh.
