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This is a bit complicated but I try to make myself as clear as possible.
I went to my grandfathers funeral today. Not a lot of people were present due to the coronavirus, but my two French cousins did make it. Because of a feud between my father and his sister, I have not talked to my cousins in nearly 20 years. I'm now 20 myself, and the last time we were together was when I was either a baby or a couple years old.
>go to the funeral
>see some relatives, my two cousins among them
>I basically see them irl for the first time in 20 years
>our eyes meet for maybe a split second
>the other one (22) KINDA even looks like me, she's pretty. The other one (23) looks a lot more like her mother.
>We dont exchange words, we dont even greet each other, or acknowledge each others existence during the funeral
>the songs, prayers and ceremonies go by
>I leave, without saying a word to them
At this point I realize how different life could have been had our parents not been in a life-long dispute. We could have been like any other group of cousins, but instead we are almost complete strangers. What angers me is that it's not my fault, and neither is it their fault; it's our parents' fault. It is awful how fundamentally other peoples' fights have affected our lives. I truly wish I would get to know them... who knows when I will meet them next? I wish I could talk with them without the pressure of our parents being around. I want to know what they do, what they like, what they believe in, who they really are. I wish we could be friends, or anything more than just strangers.
Maybe one day.
