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I don't think I'm fit to work, at all. This is my explanation for why I won't get another job.
Most people feel stress and anxiety in the form of increased heart rate, sweating, paranoia, yadda. When I get stressed out, I feel it in the form of nausea and vomiting. I'll vomit, and I'll spew liquid shit so bad it would make a belacuck thread jealous. If I haven't eaten yet, It's pure bile and will burn me on both ends. If I'm really stressed out, there's blood. I keep a vomit bucket next to my bed that I have to clean every day, because I can't stomach the thought of clocking in. I was fired from my first job in a kitchen because they found out the reason I took frequent bathroom breaks was to vomit blood and bile, which is obviously not the kind of person you want serving people food. I'd get comments from customers about how I look 'sick'. I used to be a fat kid, and now I'm thin because I would vomit up everything I ate. I tried working other jobs, but there isn't always going to be a toilet just for me to puke in everywhere I go in life. So, my options are to either stay home, or find the nearest secluded area to pour my guts out. At my last job, I was puking behind a shipping container. There was a lot of blood. It was all just blood and mucus. My manager found me, and sent me home on the spot. I was later told to seek other employment. But, what other employment is there? A work at home job? So I can have all the fun of puking up stomach acid at my home desk? The one place I can go to be at peace? And what about my health? How long until all that blood catches up with me?
How many times can I do that, before I have permanent damage to my body? Tomorrow, I am going to a shrink to explain my problem, and ask for either pills, or disability. Because those are my options. Sedate myself before every shift, or stop working shifts.
