I live under the totalitarian rule of an unfair, despicable ogre AKA my father. Just because I am not employed, he thinks he has the right to enforce arbitrary dietary restrictions and treat me like a child. Okay, I am overweight and it is "his" house, that still doesn't give him any right.

Anyway, one of the humiliations he puts me through (and in front of my cunt of a stepmother) is to "allow" me one can of Pringles per week as a "treat" (as if I am a dog and not his human son). Of course the first time he did this I ate them in one sitting and he of course shamed me and refused to buy me a new can until the following week. Now I have to walk for 30 min 3 times a week and can only eat certain amount of Pringles per day - yes, he actually draws 6 lines on the can and occasionally checks to see if I surpassed them. If I eat too many he throws the whole can out and doesn't buy them for an additional week because he is an asshole who cheated on my mother and has to make my life hell.

With that background, now you know my predicament. I ate 3/4 of a can Wednesday night due to my diagnoses depression and in a fit of creativity and intelligence, I cut the appropriate length from a paper towel cardboard tube and balanced the remaining Pringles on them. The weight isn't good but they clearly look like they are at the appropriate line.

But I'm worried this won't go unnoticed for the next 5 days and am wondering if /pol/ can give me advice on how to make homemade Pringles? This way I can use them as "filler". Please /pol/ I really need this and the flavor doesn't matter, the prick doesn't scrutinize that much.