>>10196111First, find the right one. Must have common goals, must both really, really want things to work. You both need to be at a point in life where you have agency. If you are insecure or beholden to your parents or whatever regarding your life plans, you're going to have problems. Best if you are both redpilled and traditional, so you both see the truths of how life works and are focused on a life-long partnership. Must both believe that the family unit (the one you make with her) comes first. You've got to be patient and understanding. If someone gets bent out of shape, remain calm. If there is a disagreement, state your position calmly, listen to the other person. You've got to back each other up no matter what, right or wrong. if you're still at the stage in life where you'd rather hang out with friends, or think vidya is more important, you're going to have problems. I'm on my second marriage. I had a lot of those things I mentioned going for me in the first one, too, but I made mistakes. There were things about life I didn't understand yet. In between marriages I met a woman or too I was crazy about, but she just wasn't "the one". The One came along, only when I was relaxed, calm, felt I had agency. She chased me, wanted me, always wanted to be with me. She had her own life at first, her own agency, then we merged our lives together, merged our independent agency into one. We both work towards one goal, maintaining a rood over our heads, food on the table, a happy home life, and preparing for kids (admittedly quite late in life for me to have kids but I still want them). Stuff happens sometimes, but we just maintain perspective, admit our own issues, she admits she goes overboards, tells me she knows she is wrong but she can't help herself when she is angry. It blows over, she apologizes later.
