>be me
>a year or two ago
>home alone
>hungry as dick
>text my mom, tells me to order a pizza
>decide to order a Tucson 6-cheese pizza from papajohns.com
>fast forward an hour or so
>hear knocking
>pizza_time.webm
>anxiety kicks in
>do nothing but sweat and shake for 30 seconds
>hears knocking again but louder
>stand up instantly and look through the blinds, even though I know it’s the delivery guy
>put on my shoes for some reason
>walk up to the door and take a deep breath
>open the door to a skinny but probably shredded light skinned black guy with an afro and a beard around my height (5’10”)
>immediately think I’m going to get robbed
>hands me the pizza box
>says the normal pizza man stuff like sign the receipt, thanks for choosing Papa John’s Pizza, etc. but with ghetto slang
>ends each sentence with bruh or man
>oddly comforting
>all anxiety melts away, except for the thought of being robbed because around blacks, never relax
>mumble my way through the rest of the exchange, but with a smile
>hand him a heavily crinkled $10 dollar bill as a tip
“enjoy the meal, bruh”
>he starts walking to his car
>”y-you too”
>he hesitates and resumes walking a second or two later
>slam door and run back to my room
>sit down and eat the pizza in silence
>good piece of tucson six-cheese
>parents come home 5 hours later
>mom goes to sleep, dad asks if the pizza delivery went well
>”yeah”
>doesn’t believe me as he is aware of how much of an awkward little shit I am
>he boots up the security camera monitor
>hears me say you too
>proceeds to loudly erupt in laughter
>i sink in my chair in embarrassment
>mom wakes up and tells him to shut the fuck up
>shows her the camera footage
>she laughs even louder than him, practically screaming
>sink even further into chair

Is there any way I can salvage this and make it seem like the delivery man was in the wrong? My parents to this day show people the footage and I mainly try to laugh with them.