That's some nice display of survivorship bias you got going on here anons.
I can understand people who love one or both of their parents because said parents actually did try to make your childhood good.
But if the parent or parents truly are shit and have made your childhood shit, can you truly claim to love them?
Most would say yes because of social stigma.
I'd say no. If you as a parent have spent your time intentionally giving your child a bad card in life, it's in my opinion that you do not deserve love back.
In my case, it's my mom. I do not love the old hag. Almost everything you can do wrong as a parent excluding drugs or physical abuse, she's done. Yes I do hate her for it. No I am not going to love her unconditionally. Actions speak louder then words ever can.
The only reason I visit is because my half-siblings live there. It requires some mental fortitude to visit a person you hate.
People ask me why I even bother visiting if all she does is bring up old childhood trauma and shit. But when you care for your family (in this case the half-siblings) you do what is necessary to visit them, even if it has to mean faking a Mom-son relationship that only on the surface looks decent.
The half-siblings are old enough now however. So I can finally cut back on the visits and move on with my own life properly.
I'd like to believe that my visits have helped them somewhat with dealing with my mom and their father and the hell
that is living with those two idiots. Makes my sacrifice of mental stability feel worth it. I could have chosen to cut all contact completely.
But when you are the "Big bro", you are the big bro and you do what you can to help.
