I’m a 18 y/o f and I feel like I’m developing a weird fetish that I can’t tell my girl friends. Which is, rape? It turns me on knowing I’m being forced/abused/submissive by a older dude or just a dude in general. I like the feeling of being lower than a man. Which is weird bc I’m a super “feminist” I guess. Idk, I can only get off if it’s forced rough sex? Is that normal? I graduated HS like a few days ago and tried experimenting w a boy I went to school with but he just wasn’t brutal enough? I couldn’t get off bc he was just to soft to me. Is this normal? :(