>Waiting for my ride after a mean motherfuck of a night
>Boss says stop sitting on the dividing wall after my shift
>She has the cajones to hold me 3 hours after store-closing (we stick to nightshift)
>Call myself Humpty fuckin Dumpty, and my boss can eat my delicious scrambled ass
>Wall fit, we sit
>Up there for half an hour, waiting on my ride
>Tickle the Scally sitting beside me
>She can't run because she wants to stay nestled in her place on the wall
>Be irl beaming at the indignant squealy daemon, sitting on a big fuckall wall at midnight-30
>Scal suddenly looses the fangs with a loud, wet snarl
>I scream and hop off the dividing wall away from the brandished ((physically harmless)) display
>Unaware and defenseless homeless man, totally unprepared for the screaming 250 pound dude falling from the stars with a x4 crit multiplier just so happened to be looking for a place to sleep
>He screams and starts backpedaling like Reddit confronted by the door greeter at Walmart
>I don't wanna squish the unlucky sod, but I'm midair and cannot stop
>I continue screaming to alert him
>Man trips over backwards in his haste to escape the incumbent impact crater from the comet of wrath that is me
>He devolves into a terrified crawl backwards away from me, screaming OH FUCK OH FUCK
>I land in front of him but (in my peerless grace) I trip, and try to regain my balance by starting to run
>Man scrambles to his feet
>I'm running "at him" with no way to stop or slow down except by eating a foot long Italian and gravel sub
>Man continues to scream as he runs away, leaving his shit which I trip over
I left his pack in front of the wall where I nearly flattened him, and with an extra 30 bucks in it, but I still feel a weird combination of remorse and gut busting keks did I do the right thing anons
>>Please pour one out for the poor homeless man who thought that I was conjured as an avatar of screaming cosmic hate manifested to run him off the my managers property
