>>10562119>>10562084It’s all fun and games to expand your brain and explore the metaphysical as a teen/young adult. I’ve got this like constant uneasiness now, like I can’t ever be 100% about anything. On the average day that’s no big deal, but I genuinely question if I’m real or if any of this is real on practically a daily basis, even for the “thoughtful” that’s tiring.
Idk how to describe it but it’s like all those trips ruined my ability to think about those things in any real meaningful ways. Before I started tripping I was able to process pieces and digest them, when tripping I became immersed in those ideas and accepted them. Now after 7 years since my last trip, I randomly find myself immersed in it all again but without the expectation of going there, without the come up, and without the hours after to stew in it.
It comes in the form of severe panic attacks. Absolutely crippling panic attacks. And anything can cause it. One of the more recent ones was thinking about cloning as possibly being cloned against my will. I felt completely surrounded by unspeakable evil. Idk, so hard to describe.
Also side note, I don’t think it helps that the first time I ever saw the matrix I was like 5 hits deep lol
