>>10630976M8, it's just hard as hell.
I should be a guy with kids and a darling wife. I don't have kids.
Instead I invest in multiple game consoles and HD gaming screens in my house so that my nephews and nieces would have fun. I am also a pretty good chef with top notch ingredients, just to serve those kids.
I don't have kids of my own because I just don't trust any female to be the mother of said kids. It's a personal hell to really want something when there is no trust.