I'm heavily right-wing but I have fantasies of hotwifing my girlfriend. I have watched a ton of porn and I think it's had a lingering effect on me.

Regular sex bores me and I always need more and more stimulation so I imagine my girlfriend being fucked in all sorts of different scenarios. Old men, young boys, gangbangs. Nothing with blacks. I also don't enjoy the humiliation aspect and I don't want to be a cuck. I like seeing her hypersexuality and how other guys look at her when she dresses scantily. I low key force her to dress like a slut just so I can watch other guys drool over her.

At the same time, I think having a traditional wife is the key to raising happy children.

What can I do? I feel disgusted but it's the only thing that turns me on sexually.