ah man Im not having a great time recently desu, my autism really got pushed to its limit due to all the recent parties and fireworks and Ive been feeling completely drained and cant filter myself at all around people and just being near them gives me major anxiety on top of having some stupid infatuation that keeps coming back thats giving me major cognitive dissonance because I feel like everyone is treating me like garbage with no empathy so I dont want to like people and I know my autism is too fickle to handle for anyone
thats it I just need to vent the only other person I used to somewhat confide in is probably actually dead desu so thats real great too