How do I make myself work hard when I feel cucked by working hard? If I work hard then I know someone somewhere had more success with less effort or through a smarter method. I feel like a sucker.

I feel like I need to go outside and savour my youth even though I had no friends or social life all through university (and now) and going to the library or cinema ultimately makes me feel conned, like there was a promise of human / societal connection that never happened. No wonder I spend so much time on 4chan.

I already know I'm asking a stupid question. I already know all advice is trivial and there is no method and so on. The most encouraging advice I can think of is also horrifying: that everything turns in to work when you care about it. I see groups of people at the gym (usually multiple guys and one girl) socialising by acting as unpaid clowns for the girl. This is horrific to watch, as if they've managed to turn relaxing in to a rat race. Of course I'm no better, my "work" is following a lifting routine. Even when I see people boasting about not working or being relaxed it's like seeing them take part in an insouciance pageant.