I dated this girl for 3 years. The first year she was obsessed with me. You could tell she was madly in love we me and she was blind to every shitty thing about me. I didn't have a car, shitty job flipping eggs, garbage all over my shitty apartment, generally weak willed and a pussy.
I somehow tricked her into thinking i was an asshole, and she naturally thought i was special because i want tripping all over myself to impress her.
After that year, the excitement about the relationship started to dwindle. Her friends started coming around more often, we started having sex less, she started fights more often.
By 2 years we hated each other. All we did was get drunk and fight. She would drop hints about guys at her job being awesome or great friends. We would go to clubs and bars and she would ditch me and go off with her friends.
One day we sat on the porch and just said we should break up. She moved out that week and i haven't seen her out any of our old friends since then. I tried contacting the people we used to hang out with, and they ignored my texts.
I've been on my own for 2 years since. I've had girls try to vibe with me but i just can't bring myself to try and be social or charming.
I'm just so alone and im wierd now. I like forgot how to interact with people.
My point is, she basically learned that i was a loser and moved on before the relationship was over.
The truth was i was always just not really good enough, and she figured it out.
I probably am not good enough for anyone, and by even attempting to have a relationship it would only be by tricking some girl that im not a complete waste of time. It's pointless. At least if I'm alone i don't need to worry about anyone leaving me or quietly resenting me and thinking im weak and worthless while sharing a bed and pretending to make it work.
