How to do a Scottish accent: talk like you have a pole up your ass and you're conflicted about it being painful but also kind of enjoy it and hate yourself for it

How to do an Irish accent: you're a pirate but you're also a homosexual

How to do a Welsh accent: sound confused, as if everthing has a question mark(?), even when it's not a question(?)

How to do an American accent: you just drank a whole bottle of vodka and someone hit you over the head with a shovel at a critical stage in your early development

How to do an Australian accent: you're tripping balls but you're (badly) trying to convince everyone you're normal and sociable

How to do an English accent: just talk normal