Okay so I think I got this solved out. Through much research I've learned that while the west coast like California has the most obscene faggots the midwest and the east coast have more faggots in general.
Is there maybe something about the bore of the midwest and everything east of texas that makes someone want to get fucked in their ass?
I think so.
Phase 2 will be figuring out why everything east of Texas is so fucking gay it breeds homos.