>Be me
(for the tard who orgasms over "who are you quoting" plot twist, its me)
>Be guy who loves the night, I stay up until the sun comes up, grab maybe 2 hours sleep then spend the rest of my day in a dark room day trading bitcoin.
>Avoid flatmates and people at all costs
Anyway
>enjoying my night time shit, super relaxing
OUT COMES A FUCKING SPIDER UNDER THE DOOR AND CLIMBS UP THE WALL ABOVE ME.
>Panic hard
>Trying to wipe ass hard and furious
>Its getting all over my fingers and just spreading around.
>Check on spider, not sure where its looking, its flexing its back half though
>still trying to wipe and now im sweating
>swearing at the spider looking for a solution.
>throw toilet roll at spider
Big mistake. I hit the spider but it landed on me.
>Not sure what to do. (it landed on my left leg)
>Its just sitting there though, not moving.
>Sit on toilet not moving for about 20 mins, ass is so numb and so is my dick at this point.
>Spider finally decides to move, hes at my ankles this time.
>Will this night ever end
>Spider finally goes back under door

I decided to have a shower in the end. I gave up trying to wipe. I swear its not over though.

Anyway, how are you?