>>10893117I tried to kill myself a couple of years ago. I was going to hang myself. I got on a chair and started to set up the rope and everything, when I suddenly slipped and fell. I don't remember what happened next, but I woke up on the floor and the back of my head was bleeding. I think I may have hanged for a couple of minutes, but then I fell because I didn't tie the rope properly. Anyway, after that I started thinking about things in general. I could have ended my life there, and the suffering would have stopped. However I remembered that despite all the shit that life would throw at me there were still times in which I could genuinely feel happy. I also started to consider the bigger picture, I started to think about how insignificant me and everyone around me was in the great scheme of things. The countless generations of humans and other creatures that preceded me, and the ones that will follow. I decided that since I'm so insignificant, it wouldn't make a difference whether I killed myself that day or one week after. And it really wouldn't make a difference if I waited a month, a year, or a lifetime. Eventually nobody would remember me, my life would be insignificant.
I decided that nothing matters anymore, whether I kill myself today or if I die fifty tears later of natural causes. I'll keep on living my life and see where this meaningless existence takes me.
