Has anyone else dealt with derealization / depersonalization? I've been stuck in this state for about 6 years now but it's getting worse and I can't leave my head.

I really just want to go outside at night and feel the air, listen to the noises and shit feel completely aware of what I am doing and my surroundings.

I've read into meditation for anxiety and all that don't know if it's gay or not yet

Just really want to be a happy guy tired of not being able to feel and be alive maybe a bro here knows the answer.

Thanks guys