>>11034476social interactions, getting to know human being(s) other than yourself in depth and see what makes them tick
I must say I'm finding it very hard to understand people as in my subconciousness I just think (rather hope) that everybody else thinks like me which I conciously "know" to be false yet still, lack of honesty and consrant play pretends made me lose respect, hope, understanding and last but not least: trust
I don't trust anybody, I'm wary and cautious of everybody
then theres also having somebody so close that they are willing to change and try out some of your stuff, even if there was never anybody that cared for your hobbies and interests you get to make somebody care
of course, unless you're selfish self centered hipocrite you'll return the favour and have a chance to (perhaps positively) change yourself by means other than day to day life
sex and happy times are never missed, as the last time I could say I was pleased with myself and my surroundings was when I was blissfully ignorant tween, love tends to make you dull enough that you can atleast for a moment say you're fine and you don't need any more of that feelgood time
and theres also a bit childish sensation of being loved, as significant others often go beyond doing what they "think" is "best for you" and go on to learning what is "okay for you" which you'd appreciate more than anything your parents ever did for you as a kid
...
okay brit, tbdesu I feel disgusting and am seriously considering buying more ganja, this isn't my cup of tea way of thinking and I want to be pulled from this abyss because the motherfucker's got some big ass eyes to stare at me back
