While I was at Elavon, the jobs that would process the credit card transactions would always fail because my boss was fucking up the timing chains by running his fraud scripts.
Anal wriggler now.
The jobs would always fail because a file would get there one or two minutes late. Obviously it was because my boss' fraud script was taking an extra minute to run, and he had the whole company convinced that even in 2014 they still can't get those dern compooters to send a file at a scheduled time, and sometimes it just takes 'em a minute to warm up before they can execute SFTP or whatever. So, anyways, they hired a new CTO. The CTO said, "I have the goal to have 99.9% job success." The fraud parties I was working with said, "Well we're already at 99% so we're pretty much there." I said, "No the fuck you aren't motherfucker. To get to 99.9% from 99% requires an entire order of magnitude reduction in the frequency with which you run these fraud scripts." They were trying to say, "Oh, in this retarded metric we are pretty much at the goal already," but they were only doing that to hide the plain truth that they were not even in the correct order of magnitude. This is in accordance with the way Satan works. It's in accordance with the way Satan's helpers work that they say, "Already at 99%? Ok, great. No need to assign high priority on this."
Overall, the gimmick is the same. They say, "We reduced torture implants by 95%," but they do not mention that before they reduced them by 95%, they increased them by 10,000,000%, and the next effect of having reduced implants by 95% is that torture implants increased by 1000%. Then they ask my enemies, "How are his implants doing?" and they say, "Oh, we reduced them by 95%," and the 95% reduction gets recorded without mentioning the net effect that I did not used to have implants all over my dick and scrotum, and in my balls, but now I do have them and I'm getting electroshocked with them basically all day, every day.
