stories of naivete, doubling down, realization, depression. A life of regret, nonexistent self esteem, and the inability to go back and to stop themselves from giving in to the temptation of biting into the apple. They are the monsters of society. They, themselves feel revolting, smelly, unwanted and unneeded. Told to ignore their fears, for the survival of their trans identity. a "survival instinct" it is called. The uncivilized fears left over from an age when humans were in danger of being hunted, it is a fear of tigers, a fear of lions, a fear of killers, and a fear of monsters. They feared monsters, they feared the photos the doctors had shown them and called "un-human", they feared the statistics and called them "biased." Because of a survival instinct they feared the photos, they feared the statistics, and yet they ignored their survival instinct.
If only they had listened. They feared monsters and now they are monsters; they fear themselves. They fear their face, their body, their friends, their family, and they fear that one day they would have had enough. And they fear they would find a gun.They fear they would write a letter. And they fear they would die. Society told them to accept their inner demons, their inner monster. The doctors told them they would be beautiful, the friends had said they will be beautiful, the family- proud of their child, about to be beautiful. And now society looks at them, the monster they created. And they ignore them. The embodiment of their fear has been created. Society shrugs.
And you cannot change what has already happened.
