>retarded criminal record
>literally fucking insane, ridiculous list of absolutely fucking stupid shit
>NOBODY will fucking hire me
>Walmart interviews me
>asks for background check
>i cry inside when i hear this

still got the job... i have always really disrespected Walmart and all of their customers, but now I feel a warm glow emanating from within my loins. the only spot willing to give me a chance over the course of LITERALLY A YEAR of me filling out applications on the regular.

>preparing the isles of poop