>>11209975once every week or two I dream that I'm in love with something. most of the time girls, but sometimes geometric shapes, or lights and colours. But it's a pure, and innocent love.
And then I wake up and have to witness that love dissipate. Eventually the dream-haze fades. It really does feel terrible, until the memory of the emotion fades. So, that fades away and is replaced by a sadness. And then that sadness fades away, and is replaced by nothing. And i forget what either of those emotions felt like. And because I forget, I don't even know what exactly I'm missing. That's when it feels like a hole in my heart. As cliché as it sounds.
By the time I made this thread, I already forgot what the feeling I described felt like.
>>11209997it's not misery! it's not really an emotion you want to get rid of. but when I feel it I always feel like I should seize the moment and end myself. because, doing that when you're just apathetic seems like such a shame. but, I don't know. when I tried to hang myself that one time I was feeling apathetic until I realised there was no going back.
