Does depression ever really go away? I just want to know how some of you who also deal with it mitigate it. I've tried everything but it's just I don't feel like I've started from a normal point. First off, I was adopted. My family life has been good but there's always this sense of not belonging and this remembrance that from the first moment I was born, I was unwanted, a nuisance. I was always the weird kid who liked history and politics, so never any real friends or connection to other people and I know it's my fault because my interests aren't like theirs but I just never understood how to connect. A few years back I got involved in a christian group and a friend took me under his wings like a big brother. Then we went hiking and he fell to his death and I stayed with him trying to save him while my other friend went for help. Lonliest half an hour Ive ever experienced. I prayed alot then but nothing happened so I don't know if God hears me anymore. Im still dealing with it. I just cant get it out of my head. I have nightmares and I just dont wanna live with this feeling of guilt that he died even though I know it wasn't anyones fault. Then my grandpa died recently. I knew it was coming but it came too soon. I had started to get close to him. Make up for lost time. I'm just so alone and Im writing here because you guys are really the only ones I could consider friends at this point. What the hell do I do? I tried everything. No fap. Dieting. Excersise. "Just be yourself". meditation. What's left?