Quoted By:
>live in China
>try to prepare breakfast but one of my 7 concubines drank the last of the leaded milk
>get in car
>car won't start because intake is clogged with a toddler's torso
>oh yeah, forgot about that
>pluck it out
>car is still immobilized due to several human heads jamming up the wheel wells
>no time to fix it, I'm late for work
>use concubine #3's bicycle
>bike is broken because it's chinese just like you
>f@#*!
>have to walk, I guess
>put on standard outdoor chinese facemask
>visibility is 20 feet due to smog
>best it's been all year, what a beautiful day
>see neighbor lady sweeping her dead child into trash bin
>again?!
>she shrugs and says "china will go larger" and goes back into house
>a sewer explodes, I narrowly dodge a flying manhole cover
>get to train station
>doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out
>oh this is the dead body train, I'll take the next one
>living people train arrives
>doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out
>trample over them because I'm late, dammit
>driver announces "scheduled derailment in 10 seconds, please hold on"
>train derails, me and some other guy in the back row survive
>he waves to me with the one arm he has left and smiles
>says "We will live in prosperity!"
>finally get to the wilderness park where I work
>take escalator up to office to clock in
>plate at the top of escalator gives way, gears and torque would've eaten my left leg if I still had one
>feed it my left hand instead as an offering
>for China
>get in car to drive a visitor and her family around tiger enclosure
>remind them that one of them has to die here as per the rules of the park
>daughter says it's her turn and jumps out, mom says "bullshit" and jumps out after her
>Tiger kills the mother but breaks its leg while trying to kill daughter due to calcium defiency
>I have to apologize to the daughter: "sorry, Tiger broken today, come back tomorrow"
>China will grow larger
