you get it relaxed... forcefully... via the chair leg method
the only options regarding lube is going in dry or the potassium liquid soap with pH of 11 that will iritate the mucous membrane of your bowels and cause you mild discomfort
tbe chair leg does not care about your gender
the chairleg is always properly sanitised to avoid HIV cross contamination
the chair leg is eternal
watch out for that guy behind you with the chair leg, that yshit hurts when you get struck in the head