when the proctologist has come
and the rectum is dark
and your moon is the only light we'll see
no I won't be afraid
oh, I won't be afraid
just as long as you relax, relax your anus

so dehydrated dummy
relax your ass, oh relax your anal cavity
oh relax it, relax your anus for me
relax your ani

if the jug that we look upon
should tumble and dall
or the cloud should spill thebrain to the sand
I won't cry, I won't cry
no, I won't shed tear
as that would dehydrate, dehydrate me

and you dehydrated sissy
relax your anus, oh relax it for me
oh relax it, relax it for me
relax it for me

darling, darling
relax your ani, oh relax them for me
oh relax now, relax your anus, relax it for me
whenever you're in hemmorhoids won't you ask mr
oh ask me, for some anestesine lube, for some lube, I'll give you the lube...