I'm 30, and for the first time in my life, I cold approached a random girl at a grocery store. A cute, short, 23 year old blonde girl. Came up with some BS asking her where the shampoo was, since I could only find body wash. Then made some chit chat, asked for her number, and she surprisingly said yes.
A few days later, we arranged for a date to get dinner--an ordeal which would have required much hemming and hawing on dating apps. Unfortunately, the date didn't go well enough, apparently. We didn't click, and she quite clearly didn't seem to be that into me, on account of my awkwardness. She turned down my suggestion to walk around the area after dinner, and didn't want to hold my hand while walking her back to the car. During the dinner though, she said she admired the guts it took to ask for her number at the grocery store. And when I asked if other guys ever did anything like that, she said no.
Still I ended up feeling forlorn, because what's the point? I'm 30, and act too much like an awkward, autistic sperg during actual dates to lock down a woman's interest for long. I've only been with a few women, for very fleeting amounts of time, the vast majority of whom were from dating apps, which I despise. All these years of going out without proper social development and intimacy make me feel like it's pointless to keep trying. I don't even care about getting notches on my belt, or making up for lost time at this point. I just want a cute girl who will love and accept me despite my flaws, and actually want a relationship.
The only winning point here is I feel more confident to approach random girls now, I guess. But I feel like this one girl may have been a fluke, and any other girls I approach from now on will simply reject me on the spot. I just wish this is something I started years ago, like when I was 24 and 25. Now it just feels like I'm a desperate old man trying in vain to seek female attention. I wish I didn't yearn for a woman's love and intimacy so much.