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I want to torture and kill an American. I think it would be fun and easy to accomplish. First, I would go out into the streets and track one down. They are very easy to detect and trace due to their famous shart odour and general distribution towards stores such as WalMart, etc. Once I have found my victim, I will lure him with some cheap edibles, like cheese or chocolate, and when his natural baseline animal instincts kick in he will become too mindless and feral to resist a free treat from a kind stranger. Next I would capture him. Americans are very small and weak due to their lack of physical activity, so once I get a hold of him and the facade is over he will begin to shriek and squeal like a pig. Thankfully, there will be little options available to retaliate against me, a superior physical and intellectual specimen. Once I have successfully kidnapped an American, I will begin to employ a series of extremely funny bullying methods. I will strip him naked and will oil him up. I will push him over repeatedly. I will berate him with demeaning names, such as "fat", "stupid", "mutt" and "circumcised". I will simply mock and bully him mercilessly until he is crying. I will make him piss and shit himself. Once this abuse has lasted for about 20 hours, I will move on to more serious punishment. Nothing is off limits at this point. I will beat and strike him with metal instruments, break his limbs, set him on fire, and perhaps even briefly perform an act of cannibalism. Once I finally become bored, I will deliver the final blow by throwing the American's damaged body off of a building, instantly killing him. The next day, I will dispose of the bloated body by sailing across the ocean and dumping it for the fishes. No one will ever find the remains and no one will ever know.
