It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his panties were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his pants,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating on bant.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, German frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Anon down in bantville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're proxyfagging bakas!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his hairy fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Cirno from coming!"