>hooked up with hot little korean girl
>Dinner, beers, some weird-ass korean BBQ joint
>Going good, cooking with gas, she's into it
>Back to her place, things are getting moist
>Whap. Kimchee or something decides it's gotta come out.
>Smoothly excuse meself to house of office, kimchee or BBQ isn't waiting
>mount up and my fucking god
>It was like a soviet era environmental catastrophe
>sounded like the contents of an chilli cook-off fibercan shot from a twenty foot long airhorn
>I do not have words for the smell
>Light scented candle on edge of tub. The only noticeable effect on bio-warfare odour is to add vanilla to the intestinally modulated BBQ/Kimchee aerosol
>Afterbody fire light on, and it's a mess back there
>No bog roll
>An empty fucking cardboard tube in the roller, mocking me
>try to get ass over edge of tub
>Fail miserably, loudly crash-back into tub
>Shit show astern has intensified to full exxon valdez
>It's everywhere
>Grab towel off bar, attempt re-mediation
>Less than successful, towel is probably beyond economic salvage
>Go to attempt to rise towel in tub, skid in blob of bio-war korean BBQ, drop towel on candle, rolls into tub, molten wax and towel go off like napalm
>Shower curtain becomes involved
>Horribly inept fire-fighting effort ensues
>Smoke, death-stench BBQ-Kimchee faecal matter, smouldering towel, melted shower curtain and brown water reduce visibility below decision height
>Skid in previously discovered slipping hazard
>Elbow whangs a ten pound beaker of bath salts, accelerating same to near terminal velocity
>Impact point rim of commode, spalling an approximately seven by ten inch porcelain isosceles out of crapper
>Contents of aforementioned thundermug evacuate onto floor, with a high content of previously discussed korean BBQ/pickled cabbage solution
>Further hilarity ensues, but no sex
>Should I eat at the korean BBQ again?
