>11 or 12 years old
>masturbating alone locked in my room
>masturbation is a new thing for me
>thought that masturbating under my pants was enough to hide what I was doing
>did it on the main room with my grandma watching telenovels
>did while sleeping in the same bed my dad was (we were poor)
>did while sleeping on the same bed with my mom and brothers
>my grandma's friend joins the house with my 8/9 cousin
>i'm locked in my room doing it
>she automatically throws the child inside my room
>stopped doing it and put some youtube videos on the computer to entertain the child and forget about my raging boner
>youtube recomends soft porn panties comercials
>the kid points at it
>i can't take it
>i play the video and start doing under my pants thinking that he wouldn't notice
>he notices it
>"i'm just scratching myself"
>everything ends and back to youtube videos
Years have passed, i still can't accept that i did, i can't cope with it,in the end it was all my fault. Sometimes I'm just walking and this memory comes in like a jab on my face, how can I make it stop?