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>Wake up
>Poop and shower
>Grab blunderbuss and head out for the day
>Suddenly a mob of Canadians
>Shitting on the street
>Bugging their eyes at everyone
>They see my blunderbuss and start raging
>Oh God, gonna go down fighting
>A loud voice pierces the mob
>"CHEEKI BREEKI!"
>It's Natalia Poklonskaya
>Her face is ensconced within a bubble of a second chin
>Natalia's belly is a dome thrice the size of her head and on either side of it is a boob just as large
>Dark veins darken and fade repeatedly under their gold flesh
>Her gray t-shirt is stretched over both jugs, fist-sized nipples visibly shuddering
>A denim miniskirt is taut over a butt just as large as her jugs
>A continuous queef keeps her afloat a few dozen feet in the air as she kicks her conical legs to propel herself over the Canadians
>The mob is distraught by Natalia's appearance
>She tosses a wink over and drums on her belly with pudgy arms as she slowly bounces off of it
>Natalia's areolae start to puff up with each heartbeat until they're as big as her head
>Two geysers of breast milk spray from her teats and begin pulverizing the horde
>One Leaf gets split in half down the middle by one geyser
>Some other Canuck gets his face peeled off by the spray
>SQUAD MORALE BROKEN
>Miss Poklonskaya massages the top of her boobs in circular motions and moans with pleasure all the while
>A stringbean of a Canuck is forcefed by a boob-geyser until she starts to swell like a water balloon
>The swelling Leaf bursts into treats
>One huge Canadian lumbers toward Natalia and starts bellowing
>Take aim with blunderbuss
>Fire right as he shrieks "HURRR MUH FEELSH"
>The thunderous boom of SHEER FREEDOM twists him and several others out of this universe and straight into hell where they came from
>The mob is dispersed in short order as Natalia floats closer and closer
>Her face is mere inches away as an embrace is initiated
>Suck face as a bald eagle and a brown bear have passionate sex atop Mount Rushmore