Always interesting how much offense is taken from the word. When I know someone is doing a certain thing to make me angry or feel shame, I make it a point to not give them what they want. I de-emphasize it, outright ignore it, generally react like it didn't bother me. With the N word, the reaction is always the opposite, getting pissed off and acting aggressive, playing right into the racist's goal. You could say that nothing has ever been said to me that feels as terrible as a black person being called the N word, which would mean that it's much harder for black people to react with a level head to the N word than whatever ridicule I faced. While that is probably true, I still think it's good advice, because the only alternative is expecting the other side to correct the problem for you. If you've dealt with truly racist shitheads, you know it's a losing battle trying to fix them. So writing my advice off and just expecting racists to stop is functionally a non solution. Also banning people who say it online isn't a solution either. People can always say it irl and many places online anyway, and censoring them doesn't remove them from society. Blacks have a lot of support from liberal whites nowadays (although I'm aware that there are many fake allies who just do it to virtue signal for internet clout), who shame the racist whites.
