>>12000256I'm one of nature's perfect failures. I have exactly one talent: I always perform extremely well(as in, near perfect) on standardized testing. This talent does nothing but allow me many more opportunities to fail at things. I have failed at more things than most people have ever attempted. To date the closest I have ever come to succeeding at anything are coming 3rd place in shot put at a track meet in grade school and managing to pass high school(with a D average, 2 years later than I was supposed to after my parents spent enormous amounts of money to send me to a special reform boarding school). I am completely incapable of doing anything correctly. I used to feel deep and continuous shame and self-loathing over my abject worthlessness, but as I continued to fail over and over at absolutely everything I tried, no matter how simple or seemingly foolproof, I began to feel a strange sense of pride. No one is as much of a failure as I am. I am uniquely awful. The sheer magnitude and breadth of my inability is unique and staggering, and I accept it as my lot in life.
