>>12295992Nah, he's not mentally ill. He's suffering from a spiritual vaccuum in which his life has become so meaningless that the only way to balm the pain of it is to become an agent of meaninglessness.
Camus wrote that we must imagine sisyphus happy, because even though sisyphus was cursed to roll the boulder up the hill only to watch it roll back down again forever, at some point he must have accepted that as his existence and embraced it because he could do naught else.
But Camus was wrong, Sisyphus wasn't happy, he was bored, and his choice was to be utterly bored and do nothing, or to roll the boulder and be slightly less bored.
And so the OP, like Sisyphus, in the absence of a better option, does this. A meaningless task on endless repeat to fill the time. Camus might say OP has convinced himself that he is happy doing what he has chosen to do, but reality OP is as miserable doing it as he would be if he didn't.
