SERIOUS THREAD. TROLLS GTFO OF HERE.

>20 years old.
>6' 1" tall.
>Asperger and Tourette syndrome (I have some nervous tics on the eyes and head).
>Have hump on my back (kyphosis).
>Virgin.
>EXTREMELY lazy and clueless.
>Living with major anxiety disorder since I was 14.
>Semi-phimosis (i only can pull back the foreskin when my dick is not erected).
>Skinny body but a few belly.
>I have a good car.

(I'm not native English speaker, so I apologize if I commit any mistake).

I have Badoo and Tinder. I have some matches with girls (I'm straight), but when I talk to them they almost reply me. Women always say they don't care about the physique and they look for amiability, respect and attitude instead. But I see they always go with the "bad boy".

I feel people laugh at me when I walk in front of them. I have none social habilities and social life. When I'm not in class I'm always on the PC.

It's very sad to have to say this, but I've been also thinking about rape. I would have nothing to lose except my parents and my family's respect for the rest of my life. But honestly, I know I won't be able to do that. And I won't be able to kill myself too, even if that idea rounds on my brain all the time.

I've been going to the gym but I'm not so constant and very lazy sometimes and I'm not able to be a bodybuilder or at least get a big muscles.

I wanna get my face tattooed to stand out over the rest of people, but my mother says she will drop me outta home if I do that.

The point is (even I'm looking for a long-term relationship) thinking about lose my virginity or at least receive a blowjob. I'm scared about go with a hooker or a scort. People say I should not do that and wait for "that special person". Until now I agreed with that, but being realistic, with my nervous tics and everything it's so dificult... But at this time, I'm starting to think about that seriously, even in receive a blowjob from a homeless slut.

What should I do?

Thanks for your time.