I had a dream I got shot last night.. and It was kind of exciting.

It was pretty simple, someone just drove up rolled down their window and shot me. but seeing the gun, the spike in my heart rate and the fear that came after. then closing my eyes and making an attempt to duck or hide from my impending death, and bracing for nothingness... it was really terrifying - a DEEP fear I've never felt before - but what was I scared of? my existence coming to an end? the pain?

now that I'm awake it was kind of exciting, I experienced so much in a short amount of time, and it was over just like that. it was like a climax ending to a good movie or story, my existential dread peaked, and then turned into adrenaline and then back into fear and all over again. it was very riveting.

this has me thinking. why are people afraid of death? is it the pain? pain isn't really that bad. but yet people spend so much of their time trying to hide their existential dread, distracting themselves with pleasures and activities that really have no meaning.

life is an experience in itself. I'm grateful I even get to live and die, it's better than nothing. It's like would you rather sit in darkness or experience a good movie with a really tragic ending?