Guten tag, meine kameraden! My name is Hans Ishii. I'm a 33 year old Japanese teutonophile (German culture fan for you foreigners). I drink beer and yodel in the Japanese Alps, and spend my days practicing the hammered dulcimer and enjoying superior German passtimes (nationalism, working, and beer consumption).

I drink with my German beer stein every day, this superior mug is capable of holding exactly one liter of the finest Bavarian stout. I earned my drinking license two years ago and I have been getting better every day.

I speak German fluently, both Saxonian and Bavarian dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about German history and the Wehrmacht penal code, which I follow 100%.

When I get my German visa, I am moving to Hamburg to attend a prestigious university to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a holocaust scholar for the University of Hamburg!

I own several lederhosen, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Deutschland, so I can fit in easier. I salute my führer and speak German as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in Germany!