You see. Everything is just "stuff". Ideologies, emotions, responsibilties, interest, hobbies. It all revolves around stuff. Even spirituality revolves around "stuff". What "stuff" made the "stuff" that exist, what stuff happens to you after you die. Even if it did have some grand "meaning" it would still all be just "stuff". Books, movies, games, it is all just about "stuff", even if fictional. What "stuff" we want or is taken, what "stuff " we do not like, how "stuff" makes us sad or happy, what happens to the "stuff" in the end. When I think about it, I realize all of it, even thinking about it is just "stuff" and stuff is really cringey because people make such a big deal about it... when it is just stuff, as I said even acknowledging it is participating in this cycle of "stuff." Thus doing ANYTHING isjust pointless participation in stuff cause it makes us "happy", which in itself is stuff. Not even I can transcend this caring about stuff even though I realize it. It never ends. Its so hard to talk about this concept, it is pervasive, perhaps what I am trying to say is participation in existence to any degree is seemingly pointless when I think about it deeply. I'm not a nihlist but that is how it seems, and when I browse this board I see topics on pointless stuff like "philosophy", "religion, "ideologies", the history of stuff or stories revolving around stuff and it gets to me. Even though I find a lot of those topics interesting when I think about everything just breaks down.